Today our expert guest is Susan Bratton, an intimacy wellness expert and a champion and advocate for those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. She’s the best-selling author and publisher of lovemaking techniques, bedroom communication skills, and sexual vitality advice including “Sexual Soulmates,” “Relationship Magic,” “Hormone Balancing,” and more.
Susan had a very successful career in marketing, advertising, and sales before she ran into intimacy issues in her marriage, sending her towards divorce. Through a combination of therapy and sex workshops, they realized that the only thing that had happened to their marraige was a lack of knowledge, a lack of skills, and a lack of communication. Once they learned more about sex, their sex life became fantastic.
How do you transform sex into making love? And what exactly does that mean? Anyone can figure out how basic procreation works, that’s built into our biology. But there’s a deeply emotional, spiritual sex that is much harder to achieve. Along the way, you can reach a higher level of awareness, which is focusing on mutual pleasure rather than the individual pleasure you experience during sex, but a lot of people get stuck there. The third level is two people completely, ruthlessly sexually self-expressed in mutual, conjoined pleasure.
With everything going on in the world, many people are feeling stressed out. How can we focus on passionate sex with everything that’s on our minds? If you are lucky enough to have a partner, the single best things that you can do is to hold each other. In her book “Sexual Soulmates,” Susan spent over a decade trying to help people have really great sex, and she details the six fundamentals to making your sex life better that she learned in the process. One of those is becoming more embodied: slowing down, touching, connecting to each other’s eyes. When we get stressed we tend to pull ourselves back and away, we stop cuddling, and we forget what we really need.
Susan has created a holding technique—the best foreplay hug in the world—called the soulmate embrace. It teaches men to hold a woman in the way that she’s always longed to be held but that she’s never thought to ask. You want to hold her until she’s relaxed, and then she has to say what’s on her mind to become more relaxed. And then you have to hold her even closer, and stroke her body from top to bottom to get her out of her head into feeling her body. And then she’ll likely want to go to the next step, which is kissing and touching and more. This is the kind of connection that we need in times of stress like this.
The Biggest Helping: Today’s Most Important Takeaway
“Your sexuality is a precious gift. It’s a gift of your humanity. It’s a gift of pleasure and connection. It’s more beautiful than the most delicious meal. And it’s as important as your health and your family, but it doesn’t happen without you putting attention on it. There are so many techniques you can learn, so much pleasure that can be available to you. Keep making new trysts with your own sexuality and moving toward more pleasure, whether it’s solo pleasure or pleasure with a partner.”
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- Instagram: @susanbratton
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